I did my taxes and I think I got more than I expected in return. No.....it was't about money....but about me. See, my accountant is this great old guy who does the taxes fro alot of my friends and family. I did my taxes and we started chatting about everybody and he said with this straight look at me (we go back a long time so he's like family to many of us) and says "You know, alot of people are worried about you....they say that you don't call or keep in touch...it's like you've been under some rock". Well, that one shook me. I mean, I really don't care about what otheres think since I've been known to "dissapear" for a bit every now and then. This time,however, it struck a chord in me. Must be the recent personal crap that's got my wires crossed and needing a good ol' fashion crow bar over the head. Anyway....it hurt...I mean it hit home. I know he meant it like family. It just caught me by surprise. It made me sit back and ask myself "Hey man, how ARE you doing ? ". Well, that's enough exposure for now.

"Como estas.....REALMENTE...como estas?"

Coming home from work tonight, I saw a beautiful full moon. It was unusually close,it was so big and clear. The wonders of the moon. What sweet romance.

Esta noche,llegando a mi casa, me encontre con una luna tan llena y cerca. Era una luna tan impresionante. Tan bella y romantica, junto a una noche tan clara. Ella y yo.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.........

.............sometimes I don't think that's far enough apart....

...and yet maybe someday........well........let's just leave it at that.......maybe someday.

Los hombres son de Marte y las mujeres son de Venus..........

.....a veces yo no creo que eso es suficiente distancia aparte.........

...y,sin embargo, pienso que algun dia quizas........bueno......deberiamos dejarlo asi...........algun dia.

What I reallly look and feel  like in the morning

Como yo realmente me veo y me siento por la manana

Dos son uno....uno es nada

When the word hero is mentioned, rarely do we think of a young 5'4'' 19 year old woman, but Private Jessica Lynch epitomizes the word hero. Staring into the face of death and watching her comrades fall beside her, she continued firing at Iraqi soldiers until she ran out of ammo. She demonstrates all of what this country stands for, as do her fallen comrades. 

Cuando la palabra heroe se menciona,rara veces pensamos en una chica joven de 19 anos ,estatura de 5'4". Sin embargo, la Jessica Lynch simboliza esta palabra/ Mirando a la merte de frente,viendo sus hermanos soldados caer a su alrededor,ella continuo disparando a ,os soldados Iraki hasta que se le termino su amunicion. ella demuestra todo lo que este pais representa, tal como sus hermanos caidos.

O.K. people, it's been a bit since I posted here. I want the Spring to come into town aleady. I need to flush out all the winters' past ( a few of you know what I mean and can really "relate" as well to my saying this).

I need a breath of fresh air. Nothing too much but damn, how about a warm breeze and some sunlight. Yeah man, some warm sun to take away the weatherbeaten days of yore and memories past. Just enough for me to draw a total blank in the memory banks and feel at peace with the new season - and with myself. Nothing heavy here, I just know that I feel better when the weather gets better.

'Nuff said

Todavia mis lagrimas saben a ti

U.S. 15th Marine Expeditionary Unit load a mortar during a pitched battle with Iraqi forces at the port in Umm-Qsar in southern Iraq on Sunday

ordnancemen unload ordnance from an F/A-18 Hornet on the flight deck aboard the USS Harry S. Truman, at an undisclosed location at sea on Saturday

"K-Dog", a bottle nose dolphin belonging to Commander Task Unit trains with Sgt. Andrew Garrett in the Arabian Gulf. These units are working to ensure shipping lanes are clear of mines for humanitarian relief.

Iraqui Republican guards flash victory signs as they leave Baghdad heading to the southern front March 27. Iraq has denied reports from U.S. commanders that it has lost up to 1,000 men in fighting in and around the city of Najaf, which is close to the Euphrates river 90 miles south of Baghdad.

A note :

last night I caught myself watching too much coverage of the war. It was obvious because my thumb was literally the "autoremote" pilot. it knew when to switch to the opther channels because the coverage started repeating itself. That's the first signs of being hooked on it all. o.K., so we knew that in this war it was going to be the first couple of days that was going to set the initial pace of the war. I wanted to see how long our pace would last until it finally slowed down as both sides revealed their cards. Now, it would seem, both sides have shown most of the cards and I'm still - or was - glued to it to see how the troops were deploying their new weapons out in the front lines and all......typical service stuff.

That's when it hit me. Tonight, it hit like a ton of bricks. The media was suckering me in. Just like they want all of us. I don't want to see this with this sort of game boy  "distance" mode. This isn't a made for t.v. event.

I closed my eyes and thought long and hard about when I did things in uniform and how some things we did demanded the most extreme in concentration and quick thinking. Not to mention the physical demands.

Once all that hit me, I looked at the t.v. and I just instantly hated these media-types. Way too much gabbing on the front lines about...well.....anything. Oh surte, the stree of combat is key and all that. No question there - but....maybe I'm just tired right now or maybe it's the way in which these news guys are just eating this up -all for their own motives and self promotion in the media world. I don't know, they just seem to me, to be reporting things in a way that it is really self serving rather than for the reporting itself. I sense that their real motives aren't what you'd think they are. It all just made me want to go up to the first reporter I encounter anywhere and punch them.

...maybe I'm tired. The troops are tired to be sure.....but it seems like these news guys are like a twentyfour hour ever-ready bunny with a never ending stream of shit coming out of their mouths. Way too perky for too long...working too hard to get the story right. At the same time to get that ultimate recognition from their peers. War, death.......oh boy ...a chance of a lifetime to report on all that for the sakes of my professional growth. To hell with everybody and everything.

What about that lone grunt out there who's got to clean the dirt,sand and carbon from his rifle and gear and then himself ? - in that order !! - all the time !! Do these news types ever report on the amount of effort and time it takes to clean all that and yourself before reporting in for the next patrol or order of battle ? All that other shit that just gets in the way of your down time. Discipline,baby...yeah but man....tell it too. ya know ? Do they ever report on all the other crap like the chills you get when the NBC alarm goes off ? or how about when the troops first try to get sleep the first few nights- none ! it's all giddy chatter with the NCO's trying to keep them quiet. Oh sure they shut up or calm it down to a whisper - but sleep ? never. Then amidst the down time and the op time - the sudden slap of fatigue when your brain just slips for a second and your knees give for a bit. You catch yourself by bending your knees ever so slightly so as to change the way the blood rises or goes throughout your body (a trick we all learned from standing at attention for drill way back at boot camp - it prevents from passing out due to locking of the knees when tired). A rush here and down time there. The training is one thing but I can only imagine that all of this intensifies after a short or long firefight. Hell, if you've ever been close enough to mortar or Arty rounds during a CAX exercise, you know what I mean.

The news guys...always talking....maybe they serve a purpose....maybe they're out looking for their own future opportunity with a good war story.....maybe it's all suposed to be this way so as to have a great record of this war so as to further train the next generation........maybe it's supposed to be this way.......maybe certain things just will never go being reported because it's not "newsworthy enough" for ratings.......

......maybe I feel for that Marine......quietly following orders,leading,helping,aiding........doing his job. Watching these news heads flap their gums...

....maybe I'm just flapping mine here.........tired.

The Protesters Yesterday / Los Protestantes Ayer

English / Espanol

Here I am watching all these protesters walk right by me in my neighborhood. All of them with their signs and bitching about the war and how bad it is. O.K. no complaints there. I'm sure that war isn't a good thing and that the servicemen would rather be at home having a Bar-b-q. However, dammit, things in the world happen and if diplomacy doesn't work, then there's war. It's that simple. Does that mean that I'm a war mongering idiot ? No, certainly not. It means that I recognize that diplomacy sometimes doesn't do the trick. It means that sometimes we have to go it alone- especially when other powers that be can't seem to get their head and ass wired straight - namely the United Nations.

So having said that, we find ourselves in the position of taking action. Now, I can't acccount for all the angles of war. I'm certain that someone or some entity will make alot of money on this mess. But then again, that always happens with every war- no matter who's in it.

As I watched the protesters, I thought about my friends from when I was in. I thought about all my friends who came from Spanish Harlem and other areas. All of them who came from low income housing to join the Corps. All of them, who came from well to do families who broke social and economic ranks to earn the title and be counted as one of us. Then I started looking at the faces of the crowd. Yeah........these are the ones who years ago would have been too busy chaining the doors at college campus buildings, burning draft cards and maybe even spitting at the servicemen as they came home.

Am I overgeneralizing? God I hope so, I'd like to think that the protesters of today are smarter than the typical radical who just spouts out conspiracy and just hastily categorizes everybody a la Archie Bunker years ago.

I'm not for war. We gave peace a chance. Things sometimes don't always work out and the final option is always an option that nobody wants - especially for those who have to execute it.

So...I rally for a strong and timely action A fast end to this mess - at all costs. I rally for all men and women in the service. I rally for all the Iraqui who put their weapons down and just walk away from it all. I rally for all my MARINES who - even when they lift their rifle and sight in - pray that the other guy raises his empty hands in peace.

So where's the rally for this bunch ? oh yeah......they're  on ready alert at their bases. They're watching the t.v. to see if they can get a glimpse of their son or daughter in uniform. They're picking up the extra load while their loved on does his or her duty. They're the veterans who have been on the recieveing end of live rounds and ordinace from earlier wars and conflicts. They're on the sidelines quietly watching rallies like these all over the country and  well....really feeling what it's like to be - AMERICAN.

Espanol

Aqui estoy viendo todos los protestantes pasando pro mi vecindario en protesta de la guerra. Pues, yo tambien estoy en contra de la guerra. Se que esa solucion no es una buena solucion. Se que todos en uniforme quisieran estar en sus casas. con sus familias, en un Bar-b-q. Pero, a veces los esfuerzos diplomaticos no rinden resultados deseados. Hay que reconocer que esto, a veces, pasa y la unica solucion es guerra. Eso no es decir que guerra es algo que yo deseo. Yo se que, a veces, paises tienen que actuar solos - si quiera hasta que ciertos cuerpos politicos como la ONU se enderesen sus malditias cabezas !

Ya diciendo esto, nos encontramos en esta situacion. Ahora, yo se que cuando hay guerra siempre habra alguien o alguna organisiacion que ganara dinero en tiempo de guerra. Pues asi es en cada guerra desde el empieso del mundo.

Mientras viendo esa multitud de gente ayer, yo me quede pensando en mis amigos que estuvieron conmigo de servicio militar. Muchos de ellos venian de barrios pobres y unos de situaciones muy estables economicamente y socialmente. Todos rompieron barrieres economicos y sociales para ganarse el titulo de MARINE y representar este pais y todo lo que se define en ser America y Americano. Luego me fije en las caras de la gente que me pasaban. A lo mejor estas son las mismas personas que, anos atras, fueron reaccionistas rebeldes en contra del gobierno y nuestra sociedad. Los que quemaban la bandera,escupian a los soldados cuando regresaban de guerra alla en Vietnam or otros paises. Los que armamban movimientos destructivos en las universidades etc.

Estoy sobre generalizando ? Espero que si. Espero que yo este equivocado y que esta gente son mas inteligentes hoy en sus protestas que como fueron los pasados..

No estoy por guerra. Ya dimos paz una oportunidad. A veces la unica solocion es esta y  nadie les gusta esto - mucho menos a esos que tienen que realizar dicho acto.

Asi que.....soporto el rally para un fin rapido. Soporto todos en nuestro uniformes. Soporto los Iraqui que se paran a la ultima hora y echan sus aramas en favor de paz. Soport todos mis MARINES quienes cuando elevan sus rifles para disparar - rezan que van a ver un enemigo elevar manos desarmados.

Donde esta el rally para esta gente? Ah...ya se.....esta gente estan el las bases en condicion de alerta. Esta gente estan pegados a sus televisores en esperanza para ver si veen un breve imagen de sus hijos. Esta gente estan recogiendo y tomando los puestos de los que se han ido ya para alla. Esta gente son los veteranos que ya conocen la experiencia de haber recibido tiros y bombas en otor conflictos. Esa gente son los que, calladamente estan a los lados mientras pasan los protestantes.....calladamente sintiendo lo que es ser - AMERICANO.