Hola

I know exactly what you mean.  I sometimes go to write and decide that I just want the thoughts to crystallize inside of me.  And I think that sometimes feeling instead of intellectualizing is the better way to do much of my "stuff."

I look at your name on my list and think damn I really would like to leave him a note.  Writing in Spanish is a little daunting and especially now as I never speak in Spanish anymore.  No need since my grandmother passed away.  And I used to see her relatives, nearly all of whom speak only Spanish, but since her death, I see less and less of them.  Nothing in common.  Awkward.  Language and culture barrier.  Intellectual differences that are challenging, feel impossible to breach.

I am doing well as you know.  It's weird sometimes knowing that there are those, like yourself, who read and never or rarely comment.  My words are sometimes just things that have a "mind" of their own though.  I let them free out into the world of Xanga and do not necessarily need feedback.

My site as I have come to be here almost a year now, seems to be designed mostly for the sake of inspiring.
That has changed throughout time.  You are probably the person of all of them, who is most aware of that.  I get the feeling you have read deeply into my words.

Interesting that you and I have never met even th0ugh we may actually have at some point even shared a subway ride by now.  Nine million people in NYC and yet, sooner or later, day after day, you must ride with just about every single person who travels into or out of or around Manhattan in the subway system.

BoyToy, as I playfully have named the guy I am seeing, has been to a number of places that I've been on the exact same day or in the same week.  I keep thinking I've met him before and he said who knows?  on the subway?  in line at a store?  who knows?  Indeed. 

I think though that we've met in a past life.  I experience too many de ja vus and things of that nature with him.  Sometimes he tells me how old I was as I am telling him a story and I laugh, JESUS, how did you know that?  Or he'll mention a relative jokingly and I'll say dammit, I DO have a Tio Pepe. 

So tell me ....  because I don't want this to be all about me.  How are things in your life?  What do you learn here on Xanga?  What things do you need to have "Be" in your head that you'd rather not share?

Paz